I used to explode at any inconvenience at home, but implode outside the home. My daily mantra was “the world is against me.” My home life suffered, my loved one suffered and my actions tore me apart internally. “Why am I like this?” I started seeking hoping to recognize why and understand my emotions. I began to balance my emotional wellness. That changed everything. My outlook on life improved. My relationships felt richer. A new sense of peace washed over me. I understood that emotions are controlled and not the other way around.
Emotional wellbeing seems like a small category, yet it has a large impact on how you feel and live your life. Within this article, you will learn the importance, how to manage and how to express your emotions. This is the second article of Holistic wellness. Make sure to read the first pillar as well.
What are emotions?
Emotions are defined as ” a mental state of agitation or disturbance.” They arise arises when you are bothered, disturbed, surprised, shocked, or pleased. Emotions change our mental state from a standard operating mode to a specific emotion. It is helpful to observe emotions through another lens. Emotions as energetic motion (E+motion). Like the water in a pipe , emotions are meant to flow out.
Look at a young child or infant. They easily shift in a fluid manner from one emotional state to another when presented with a change. The issue is arises when emotions are not allowed to flow. This builds up internal pressure in the system where flow is meant to occur naturally. When built up pressure occurs, it needs to be released. Whether it is in a controlled or explosive manner is up to you. Do not let emotional damage affect your emotional wellness.
Why this matters for balancing emotional wellness.
Poor emotional wellness affects the balance of the other pillars. An unwell emotional state causes your physical wellbeing to decline. Your workplace and performance suffer. Your relationships are impacted by your emotional state. Life performance and outlook plummets from an unwell emotion state. The reason? Emotions impact your thinking. Try making a major life decision when you are afraid, depressed, or angry. Emotions cloud your vision and affect your higher reasoning and logic.
When you are relaxed, your blood flows freely for digestion orhigher brain processes. When an emotion arises such as anger, the nervous system shifts its focus. Now the activation is on survival. Anger may not be based on survival at first glance but, if there is a threat that you are capable of overcoming, anger fuels it. Blood get shuttled to the muscles to survive stealing from the higher brain functions. Less thinking more doing. The question is how can you use your higher logic centers to help rein in your emotions?
Emotional Regulation is the solution.
Human beings are emotional creatures. Thus emotions are a natural process. Since emotions come and go, they need an outlet. Finding a healthy outlet is key to balancing your emotional wellness. Although emotions are natural, Their expression doesn’t always feel natural. This has to do with your earliest learning experiences. How you were taught at a young age is how you express for life. If your family expressed anger with yelling and throwing of objects, chances are you do as well.
Take an easy one everyone is familiar with, anger. If I asked you to give me a few ways you express anger I am sure you will list several. Yelling and shouting or maybe throwing things and stomping. Maybe you don’t do any of these. Maybe you stay silent in order to be pleasant with everyone. That was me too.
The questions that needs to be asked is how many of these methods are healthy methods? Are they an expression? Yes, but not healthy expressions.
Take for example that if you were taught to hit things at a young age, you will strike at things to release your anger. This is fine so long as you don’t hit people, animals, or use it to intimidate others. You may hit things meant for hitting and that’s healthy. This is the first step towards self awareness and controlling your emotions.
How do I regulate them?
How do you handle your emotions when they arise? Do you react or express? these are two different things. Your expression helps balance your emotional wellness pillar. That takes self awareness. Are you able to notice in the moment that your emotional wellbeing has shifted?
To better regulate your awareness, do the following. When you get disturbed, breath slowly 5 times and then respond. This takes practice to get into a habit of doing. Once you do, that tool will aid you for life.
Listed below are some ways to better express your emotions.
1.Verbalize it.
This may sound strange at first, but verbally saying what you are feeling is a method of healthy emotional expression.
2.Have an outlet for each emotion.
If you are sad, cry. If you are worried, share your concerns. additionally, visualizing how you would express your emotion if it animates you helps release it. There is always a healthy way to express a specific emotion.
3. Journal
Journal your feelings onto paper. A pencil with no coating is preferred. Do not use a digital method. Analog methods allow you to better express your emotions as you can scribble faster, write a thicker line or draw in the margins. Journaling is a powerful way to release and express your emotions to balance your emotional wellness.
4. Do not stuff your emotions. What this means is ignoring or repressing the emotions. Holding a grudge or blaming someone else falls into this category. Why? Because you are still holding on to your emotions. Stuffed emotions explode making your emotional wellness imbalanced.
The feeling of a balanced emotional wellness pillar.
Once you balance your state for optimal emotional wellness, you feel a serenity and a calm sense of peace in your life. Colors look more vibrant. Tastes are richer and pleasant. Life feels vibrant and, for lack of a better word, lively.
Everyone wants to maintain a peaceful state, but life throws us off constantly making the path to a balanced state longer. These constant buffets from life require a vigilance to make sure you keep yourself in balance. There are additional solutions to that lengthy journey. Shorten it and experience peace and serenity sooner. Book a session for a rebalancing and experience real peace for yourself.